Titanic 2020 t2-1 Read online

  No problem!

  ***

  Jimmy enjoyed a snooze in a cabin on Level Ten, then sat on the balcony enjoying a Toblerone. As the sun fell the temperature went with it and a cool wind blew up, so he retreated back inside. It was time to move — he had already decided it wasn't safe to spend too long in any one place. Besides, there was a lot more of the ship still to explore. But as he peeked out to make sure the corridor was clear, he was horrified to see two officers hurrying straight towards him. Jimmy let out a surprised yelp, then hurtled out of the room and ran as hard as he could in the opposite direction. They raced after him, shouting at him to stop, but he was too young and too fit, and even though they had radios to call in help, he was soon able to lose them.

  A little later, Jimmy took the stairs down to Level Six, selected several books from the large public library there, then wandered along the corridor until he found a cabin he liked. He was completely relaxed again. They had stumbled on him by chance, and that was something you couldn't plan for. But they'd wasted their opportunity and he remained confident in his abilities to avoid them. Jimmy closed the door, switched on a bedside light, liberated another Toblerone from the mini bar, then lay back on the bed and leafed through a book about Florida. He wondered if there was any possibility of jumping ship once he arrived in Miami. He could hitchhike up to Orlando, and go to Disney, or any of the other huge parks up there. Maybe this would be his life from now on. Living wild, on his wits, on the road, a tramp, a supertramp. He could be a modern-day Robin Hood, stealing from the rich and . . . keeping it. Jimmy laughed and closed the book. It was easy to dream on this ship. The ship itself was a dream. He returned to the mini bar.

  Peanuts this time, I think.

  He sat quietly munching on the edge of the bed, trying to imagine what the Titanic would be like with its thousands of passengers on board — if he was still a stowaway then, it would surely be even easier to avoid detection. He could just lose himself in the crowds and cruise the world for ever.

  Still hungry, Jimmy opened the mini-bar door again and selected a small glass jar containing jellybeans. As he looked for something to drink — definitely not champagne — his eyes fell on a price list stuck to the inside of the door. Toblerones were $6. He guessed that was about four pounds! Diet Cokes — which were only half-sized cans anyway — cost five times as much as at home! If the passengers were prepared to pay that much, they were crazy. At the bottom of the price list there were payment instructions:

  There is no need to keep check of your purchases from the mini bar. Each time you remove an item it is automatically registered to your account, which you may settle at the end of the voyage.

  Jimmy smiled. He was stuffing his face at someone else's expense. Well, they could afford it. They probably wouldn't even notice.

  He was just opening the jellybeans when the thought struck him.

  He studied the payment instructions again.

  Each time you remove an item it is automatically registered to your account.

  Every time I remove something it'll show up on the computer! They'll know there's nobody supposed to be in this cabin. That's how they found me earlier! And I took another Toblerone fifteen minutes ago!

  Jimmy dropped the jellybeans and dashed out into the corridor, fearing the worst.

  But it was empty.

  Maybe he was crediting his pursuers with too much intelligence. Or perhaps capturing him wasn't all that important when there was a ship the size of the Titanic to navigate across the Atlantic. He was just turning back into the room when he heard the ping of an arriving elevator, followed by hurried footsteps.

  They were coming for him!

  4

  Naked Bum Man

  It was a close call, but he still escaped. When he'd put enough distance between himself and his pursuers he even had the confidence to stop at the end of the corridor and perform a little victory dance. Then he'd nearly had a heart attack at the sound of footsteps coming towards him from the stairs — but it was a cleaner, and she was as surprised to see Jimmy as Jimmy was to see her. She even made room for him to pass as he charged towards her.

  Thinking about it later Jimmy was surprised that they hadn't learned their lesson after their first attempt. Once again they had tracked him down, only to leave him with a means of escape. If they'd come at him from both ends of the corridor he would have been theirs. Not that he was complaining. He had worked out their mini-bar master plan. Now if he was hungry he simply took what he wanted and moved quickly to a different floor before they had a chance to trap him.

  But it was hunger that was the real problem.

  Toblerones, nuts and jellybeans were rapidly losing their attraction, and after spending a second night on the ship in a small cabin on the eighth level, he woke with an overwhelming desire for a proper breakfast. He wanted cereal. And bacon. And sausages. And eggs. Fried. Scrambled. Boiled, in a cup. With toast soldiers. The fact that he usually made do with a Diet Coke at home was neither here nor there. He was famished and nothing else would do but that he had to throw himself back into danger by staging a raid on the crew kitchen and restaurant far below. With the passengers still to board, he figured, none of the many restaurants were yet functioning, so it was the only place hot food was going to be available.

  What he needed, he decided, was a disguise.

  The school uniform was a dead giveaway. He needed to blend in. There was at least a hundred crew on board — ten times that number would join in Miami — but they were surely all still getting to know each other. Another strange face wouldn't be so remarkable — even if it did look very young especially if he was wearing the right clothes. Jimmy had already observed that the sailors wore white uniforms, while the engineers wore blue overalls and baseball caps, the catering staff green and the cleaners red. He didn't think he would ever pass for a sailor, but if he could get hold of a set of overalls and matching baseball cap, then he would surely be able to pass unchallenged. It was just a case of having the nerve to go for it.

  Nerve was never a problem for Jimmy Armstrong.

  After studying the relevant floor plan Jimmy pinpointed a store room on the second level which looked a likely place for the crew uniforms to be kept. When he got there he discovered that it was situated at a busy crossroads of corridors. It took nearly an hour of patiently watching in a dark stairwell before he had an opportunity to dash across and try the door — but it was locked. Before he could try and force it footsteps sounded on the stairs behind him and he had to bound across the corridor and seek refuge behind the first door that would open.

  As he slipped in he found himself confronted by a man's bum.

  It was white and flabby and spotty. Like a full moon beaten with a stick.

  He was in the men's locker room. Luckily, the sound of his panicked entrance was covered by the water pounding against the tiled floor of the shower cubicles. Jimmy darted behind a row of lockers just as the bum, along with the man attached to it, moved into the shower. Thankfully, Naked Spotty Flabby Bum Man was the only other occupant of the room. As NSFB man began to sing something vaguely Japanese he became enveloped in steam, which allowed Jimmy to venture out and remove his red overalls. He held them against himself. They were slightly too long in the arms and legs, but with a bit of turning up, they would do rightly. He changed quickly, lifted the man's baseball cap off a second hook, and discarded his by now rather stinky school uniform in a bin. Jimmy made sure his cap was pulled down hard over his face, then stepped out of the locker room into the busy corridor. At first he moved hesitantly, sure he was about to be rumbled, but very soon he realized that nobody was paying him any attention. He was one of them!

  And now for food!

  The canteen doors were open, and with the breakfast rush apparently over there were only a few crewmen still eating or choosing their food from a long buffet table. Jimmy walked purposefully up to the hot food selection, lifted a plate and began to load up. He was so hungry he could hav
e just buried his face in the scrambled eggs and sucked it up. But he had to stick to the plan: stock up then get back up to the guest cabins to enjoy his feast in comparative safety.

  When he couldn't pile anything else on to his plate, Jimmy turned for the door, only to find an angry-looking chef blocking his way. Veins bulged at the side of his head as he barked something incomprehensible. Jimmy shrugged and tried to move past, but the chef remained exactly where he was.

  A voice from behind Jimmy said, 'If you want me to translate, he's saying you can't take food out of the restaurant.' Jimmy glanced around. There was an old man — at least as old as his granda, sixty maybe — sitting at one of the long bench tables. 'If I were you, I'd shift your butt, because Pedroza there is as mad as a bag of spiders. Only this morning he took a knife to some guy for tramping egg into the carpet.'

  Pedroza's eyes blazed down. Jimmy backed away.

  'Jimmy, why don't you join me?'

  Jimmy froze.

  'C'mon Jimmy. I just want to talk.'

  Jimmy turned slowly. The old man nodded at the seat opposite. Jimmy looked around the restaurant: there were four other crewmen still eating, but apparently paying no attention. Pedroza remained in the doorway. Jimmy cursed himself for getting caught so easily.

  'How . . . how did you know?' he asked as he lowered himself warily on to the bench seat.

  'Well there's this . . .' The old man unfolded a sheet of paper showing a photo of Jimmy, one he recognized from school. 'They sent this out to us when we reported a stowaway. I thought if I sat here long enough you might turn up. Hunger does that. Nice try with the overalls, but you do look about twelve.'

  'I'm thirteen!'

  The old man put his hand out. 'They call me Scoop.' Jimmy just looked at it. 'It's not my real name, obviously. My nickname. You know where it comes from?'

  'Do you sell ice cream?'

  Scoop laughed. 'Nice one. It's a name they gave reporters in the old days. When they got exclusive stories, they'd call it a scoop. And I was one of the best. Scoop Morrison.' Jimmy shrugged. Scoop withdrew his neglected hand. 'Well, lad, you've certainly been giving us the runaround, haven't you? Pity it all has to end, eh?' Jimmy shrugged again. Scoop leaned forward and lowered his voice. 'Or does it?'

  Jimmy just looked at him.

  'See, kid, they're really mad with you upstairs, the havoc you've caused.'

  'Havoc? I stole a couple of Toblerones!'

  'Jimmy, lad, you think Mr Stanford's tearing his hair out because of a few bars of chocolate? He's tearing his hair out because he'll have to turn this ship around and take you back to Belfast. If he has to do that there'll be a delay in getting to Miami, which means the passengers will sue him for millions of dollars for ruining their cruise. Do you see? And I tell you, kid, if Mr Stanford is sued for millions of dollars you can be damn sure he's going to sue you for exactly the same amount.'

  'He can sue me for whatever he wants. Haven't got it, and my family haven't got it either.'

  Scoop blew air out of his cheeks. 'All right, Jimmy, we're getting ahead of ourselves here. Let me just say, if you're found, the Captain will have no alternative but to turn the ship around. We're only two days out.'

  'What do you mean, if I'm found?'

  Scoop smiled. His teeth were as white as snow, but appeared to be slightly loose in his mouth. Well, I was just thinking, I don't want to go back to Belfast; the Captain certainly doesn't; Mr Stanford — the owner — well it's the last thing on earth he wants to do. But the problem is that the others're so good and honest they would feel duty bound to turn the ship around if you were captured. I, on the other hand, am not particularly good or honest. So if I was to give you the chance to stay lost, and thus ensure our continued journey to America, what would you say?'

  'What do you mean, stay lost?'

  'At least until we dock in Miami. I'll organize food for you. Somewhere to sleep. I can be pretty certain you won't get caught.'

  'Why would you do that? What's in it for you?'

  'In exchange for helping you out, I would like you to help me.'

  Jimmy's eyes narrowed. 'How?'

  'Well, walk this way and I'll show you.'

  It was only when the old man rolled backwards that Jimmy realized he was in a wheelchair. He had no legs beneath his knees. Scoop, seeing Jimmy's look of surprise, patted the space where they'd once been. 'Let this be a warning to you — I dropped a slice of pizza last night and that crazy fella . . .' he nodded at Pedroza, who was now back behind the buffet table, then made a chopping motion with his hand, 'sliced them off in anger — whack! whack! He's keeping them on ice until my table manners improve.' Scoop nodded gravely, then turned his wheelchair and began to roll towards the door.

  'What a lot of crap,' said Jimmy.

  But he followed, nevertheless.

  5

  Scoop

  The long straight corridors were perfectly suited to a speeding wheelchair. Jimmy had to run at full pelt just to keep up. Scoop finally ushered him into a suite on the eighth floor. There was no bed or cupboards or mini bar, instead almost the entire floor space was covered by large cardboard boxes.

  'OK,' said Scoop, 'here's the story. Our passengers want to wake up in the morning and have a newspaper waiting outside their door, just like at home. So that's what I do — I write, edit, design and print a daily newspaper. It's a mix of news from the countries the passengers come from — mostly America — and stories about the ship, interesting passengers, profiles of the crew, that kind of thing. It's only small — eight, twelve, sometimes sixteen pages — but it's important; helps people feel that they're not entirely cut off from the outside world.'

  'Can't they just switch the telly on?'

  'We're in the middle of the ocean, there's no signal. The telly plays tapes we bring with us, mostly old TV shows, and documentaries about the islands the cruise visits. If they want news, it comes from me. Been doing it on different Stanford cruise ships for twenty-five years, son. Ever since I lost these.' He tapped his — well, no legs.

  'It wasn't Pedroza, then.'

  'I lost them in the first Gulf War. Do you remember that?'

  'Before my time.'

  'The Daily Express managed to get me a place on an aircraft carrier. It was to be my first time as a war correspondent. I was so excited when they told me, I was planning to run all the way home to tell my wife. Except I got knocked down by a taxi on the way. It smashed my legs up so badly I had to have them amputated.'

  Jimmy didn't know what to say to that. He was actually struggling not to laugh. Sometimes you just can't help yourself. He tried to cover it by nodding at the boxes and saying, 'So what's the deal with this lot?'

  'You know anything about computers?'

  'Some.'

  'Used a screwdriver before?'

  'Now and again.'

  'Ever wired a plug?'

  'Sure.'

  'All right then! I need these boxes opened and everything set up. It's a pain in the arse trying to do it from a chair. So you can start by sorting this lot out for me.'

  Jimmy looked at the boxes, then back to Scoop. 'I'm not some kind of unpaid slave, you know.'

  Scoop thought about that for a moment, and then said, 'Yes you are.'

  ***

  Jimmy was disruptive, unruly and disrespectful. He didn't like being told what to do. But if he was interested in something, he gave it everything. He was also good with his hands — had to be, really, as there was never much money around at home. So if he wanted something, he built it himself. He'd created a motorcycle out of parts other people had thrown away and he'd built a tree house that was more like a fortress, complete with electric lights and a fridge. He could do things if you left him alone to get on with them and didn't breathe down his neck, particularly if he saw some value in it. Working for Scoop in exchange for a free cruise made sense to him.

  Scoop himself wasn't entirely convinced, so he positioned himself at the end of the corridor to make sure
Jimmy didn't slip out and lose himself in the depths of the ship again. But the office door remained closed, and when he re-entered after an hour he was genuinely surprised to find that all the work had been completed. Two desks were up, each with a computer and scanner on top, both switched on and apparently fully functioning; the printer was set up, there was a column of printer paper sitting beside it; a filing cabinet was screwed to the wall; and all of the packaging had been folded and neatly stacked in one corner, awaiting removal. Jimmy was sitting at one of the computers, installing a program.

  'I didn't think you'd even have the boxes open,' said Scoop. Jimmy shrugged. 'This is fantastic.'

  'So what now?' Jimmy asked.'There's no passengers on board yet, so do you just sit on your arse until we arrive in Miami?' He said it without really thinking. 'I mean, you've no alternative but to sit on your arse, but is this all your work done?'

  Scoop exploded in laughter. 'Hardly started, son, hardly started! What we have to do now is make sure it's all working, start making up a few dummy papers, print them up, pass them around, get feedback. Each ship has its own design, you see, its own character, and that has to be reflected in the newspaper, so the sooner we . . .'

  Jimmy held up a hand. 'You keep saying we. Who exactly are you talking about?'

  'Well, you and me.'

  'I opened the boxes, I set up your gear. I thought that was it.'

  'Well — I thought you might want to help with putting the paper together.'

  'Why?'

  Scoop folded his hands in his lap. He looked towards the balcony, and the grey sea beyond. 'Because I can't do it myself. You see, lad—'

  There was a sudden sharp rap on the door. Scoop, seeing the panic in Jimmy's eyes, held up a calming hand. 'It's all right,' he said quietly. 'I ordered some food for you. Still — best if you slip into the bathroom until the coast is clear.'

  Jimmy hid himself, but kept the door open just a fraction.